An unwanted goodbye

An early morning phone call at work has my whole body shaking and tears start running down my cheeks...Johnny is dead. A man I had come to love and care for...not just for his kindness, helpfullness and thoughtful heart, but also for our many discussions, arguments and disagreements...is no longer here and the thought that I'll never get to see or talk to him again feels unreal.

I sit down to try to figure out what was actually just said to me. My mind feels foggy and strange and all I know is that I have to leave...we have to get to mom.

My sister is waiting for me and together we go to pick up Johnny's youngest son. The drive from Stockholm to the hospital in Västerås takes about an hour but feels like 3. We're driving towards chaos, towards something unreal, towards a last goodbye.

It's Johnny, it doesn't really look or feel like him, but there he is. As my eyes fill up with tears I'm almost able to fool myself to think that he's just sleeping...but as a young man kneels down next to his dad and asks him to live, reality hits again and my heart wants to break into pieces, life just doesn't seem fair. The only small comfort there is to find is that he looks at peace, with a slight smile on his face, as he so often had. He was a restless soul whom I hope has found peace among the angels that I choose to believe exists.

The next couple of days just feel unreal. You're fumbling around like in a fog where time just disappears. We're in a bubble, in a place where hours feels like days, but where you still at the end of the day ask yourself where the time went.

Tough times awaits us...especially for mom and two brothers. Thank godness for family and good friends.

Johnny ♥

Many empty and heavy hearts cry on this day. It's a day of sadness and a day of disbelief. It's a day when two beautiful boys lost their father, my amazing mom lost her life partner, we all lost a familymember we love and care deeply for.
A father, a partner, a love, a grandfather, a friend is missing among us.
May angels be with you Johnny

World Cup Semifinals

No comment....

Or actually, all my respect to Japan who played a very good game. Good luck in the finals

Green fingers...not so much

I love having flowers and plants at home, but there's a reason as to why I've always made sure it wasn't me who took care of them, I don not have green fingers what so ever. Now however there is no one else and I don't have any other choice than to try my best. Unfortunately the no green fingers statement seems to stand strong...I bought this flower on friday, today it's monday and this is what it looks like...what? how? I just don't understand.

Spending the weekend at "Landet"

A weekend at ekerö, filled with family, sunshine and soccer...just nice. Loved being able to sit outside and at the same time watch a crazy game between the US and Brazil, and of course watch Sweden kick some OZ ass :)

We picked some smultron (wild strawberries or whatever they're called) for dessert...so yummy

Henry with some coke in his blood is cheering France on and showing off his excellent french by counting to three :)

Dinner with Friends

How lucky am I to get to wine and dine, take a stroll along the water down town stockholm, enjoy some ice-cream in the sun and all of it together with some of the best people I know...just on a regular thursday after work!

There are some great people in this world

Beautiful Ylva...it still feels so unreal :)

Stockholm is a city to enjoy, especially in the summer

A day at Grönan with my favo people

A tuesday off work and what better way to spend it than a day at the amusement park with my sis and two favourite boys.

On our way there...Henry was super excited just about the boat ride over

He started off with "tuff tuff tåget", such a brave little boy

and ran to give me a hug in excitement afterwards

a ride on the flying elephants had Henry and me talking about him becoming a pilot...

a little rest and some water...

...before the "lady bug ride", the biggest kid roller coaster there, a bit scary but he did it and said he loved it...he's getting big

Henry working hard to get up the stairs to "the fun house"

Sam seemed to be having a good time as well...although I believe all the new impressions and sounds were a bit of an overload for him

Look like a flower Linda says, and this is the face he puts on...the most beautiful flower I've ever seen :)

Cutest brothers

Such a great mom with the two greatest kids ever

Waiting for the boat

Bye bye Grönan, see you another day

A very tired but happy Henry after a day of fun!

My Love Hate relationship with Summer

I’m sort of having a love hate relationship with summer right now…I mean, of course I love the summer, it’s just that it makes being at work so much harder. How on earth am I suppose to be able to get to bed at a decent hour when when the sun is still up and it looks like this outside at 10pm

Although it makes my morning bike to work so much easier and nicer when it looks like this outside at 5.30 am...sort of feels like going to work at mid-day...except that there's rarely anyone else out :)

Oh, who am I kidding the long evenings and the bright mornings will always fall under the LOVE category. And hours upon hours of sunshine after work has given me a week of a lot of bbq-ing and fun activities.

Hanging and swimming with my favourite boys

Bbq-ing at Ekerö

Biking through Stockholm

Bbq-ing with friends

Patio-dinner and a movie

The evenings just seem a lot longer