A weekend with my boys

It was time for Linda and Micke to go to a wedding and get a fun night out without their two wonderful boys for once. So I took on the challenge and had the boys for the weekend.

I was lucky enough to have Ylva and Johan come visit me as well and we all went out to Ekerö to enjoy time out in the sun...so I did have plenty of help and it turned out to be a great day and evening. With a new dock being built there was a lot of exciting machines and things for Henry to look at. We also took the boat out for a ride to go tubing. It all went great and Henry was laughing out loud as Johan went flying off the ring. The ride did however end with the boat breaking down and Johan and I had to swim it in to the dock...not the easiest thing to do, but Henry thought it was quite the adventure as he and Ylva sat and cheered us on in the boat. An exciting and fun day that we finished off with a bbq.

Little Sam had me up three times during the night, and although I can't complain to much as he was back asleep after 10 min every time, it still made for a pretty tired Sara on the Sunday. As I dropped them off at home around 4pm on the Sunday however, I realized that I was still probably in better shape than some others :) but from what I could understand it was a fun wedding. And I was happy to have had the weekend with the boys...I am such a lucky auntie.

Sam chillin at my place

Wanting to join in on the fun train track building

but Henry wasn't very fond of that idea :)

Cleaning out weekend

Oh Johnny, the collector of collectors. We took a weekend to try and sort some of the thousand things that he had laying around...all of his "good to have" stuff. Just to give an example of what we were up against...we threw away 4 fridges, 8 coffee makers, 12 speakers, old saved wall paper, old flooring, a wardrobe and just an endless pile of stuff. Three truck loads to the dump later and we had still only scratched the tip of the ice-berg.

Mom had suggested to Johnny a few times that maybe they could clean some things out, but Johnny just wasn't on the same page. And in reply to mom's trick of trying to make him feel guilty, telling him how his children would one day have to take care of it all, he just said "that's not gonna be my problem." Ha ha, that's just so Johnny, and how right he was, cause here we stand today with a pile of things to get sorted out while he's probably around somewhere with a little smirk on his face watching.

It's tough to throw out the things of a person that was a part of your life, a person you loved. And although we know that his memory really isn't in the stuff that just laid around collecting dust, that the memories are in our mind and heart there is still so much pain to be found in the eyes of mom and the boys. As mom said it, "it feels like throwing away his life."

No matter what though, I'm sure Johnny is happy about how all his "stuff" is another thing that brings us together in all of this and time together is nice.

Life continues...

I'm not really sure how to go back to writing about everyday things again... Only recently have I been able to take in the horrific happenings in Norway and understand the pain and sorrow that lies in the heart of many of our neighbours. As well as the struggle of survival that the people in Africa are fighting through right now. My donation of one hour of my salary isn't much, but all I can do for now...but hopefully one day I can make my dream of going there as a volunteer real.

We buried Johnny last Thursday, August 11th. It was beautiful and sad and so much Johnny. A day of sweet memories, tears, laughter, crayfish, family and card games...Johnny would have loved it. As sad as it is to say goodbye...it was a good goodbye...and now instead we bring him along in our hearts and memories.

Life continues and as a friend told me, a new day will always come, that's inevitable. And between funeral planning, a number of Sala trips, work and chaos...I have also managed to get some time in the sun on the beautiful west coast of sweden. I have gotten mom to stay with me in stockholm and had a wonderful time with her at the Pride festival and at Dad and Nillan's. I have enjoyed boat rides and good dinners. No matter what though, in everything I do there seems to be a memory of Johnny and although times are hard, that makes me happy!

Yes, life does continue and in our grief we do what we can to move on and live strong...and put faith to the fact that that's what he would want us to do.

West Coast

Hunnebostrand

A night with some wine and friends on a boat in the harbor

Enjoying a nice pizza lunch in the sun

Bokenäs

Friends and friends of friends all coming together for a great day at Bokenäs

everyone cooking together outside on the dock

Some bubbles are in order and a hot tub bath while enjoying the ocean view isn't to bad either

Finishing off with an amazing sunset and laying on the dock watching the stars

A good breakfast on the dock

before Gustav took us out for a tour on his sailingboat

we all helped the best we could, but mostly enjoyed the feeling, sun and views

Fläskö

On to friends at fläskö

to enjoy more beautiful sunsets

and people

and some wakeboarding of course

believe it or not, but this is actually me jumping!!

and me doing a 360...

Proud and happy to have made it on the second try

Marstrand

Ekerö

off to Ekerö after work one day, and we took the boat to dinner

a dinner with nice company and a nice view

Mom comes to Stockholm

and mom, dad, me and Henry goes for a boat ride

big boy gets to steer the boat

♥ family ♥

An unwanted goodbye

An early morning phone call at work has my whole body shaking and tears start running down my cheeks...Johnny is dead. A man I had come to love and care for...not just for his kindness, helpfullness and thoughtful heart, but also for our many discussions, arguments and disagreements...is no longer here and the thought that I'll never get to see or talk to him again feels unreal.

I sit down to try to figure out what was actually just said to me. My mind feels foggy and strange and all I know is that I have to leave...we have to get to mom.

My sister is waiting for me and together we go to pick up Johnny's youngest son. The drive from Stockholm to the hospital in Västerås takes about an hour but feels like 3. We're driving towards chaos, towards something unreal, towards a last goodbye.

It's Johnny, it doesn't really look or feel like him, but there he is. As my eyes fill up with tears I'm almost able to fool myself to think that he's just sleeping...but as a young man kneels down next to his dad and asks him to live, reality hits again and my heart wants to break into pieces, life just doesn't seem fair. The only small comfort there is to find is that he looks at peace, with a slight smile on his face, as he so often had. He was a restless soul whom I hope has found peace among the angels that I choose to believe exists.

The next couple of days just feel unreal. You're fumbling around like in a fog where time just disappears. We're in a bubble, in a place where hours feels like days, but where you still at the end of the day ask yourself where the time went.

Tough times awaits us...especially for mom and two brothers. Thank godness for family and good friends.

Johnny ♥

Many empty and heavy hearts cry on this day. It's a day of sadness and a day of disbelief. It's a day when two beautiful boys lost their father, my amazing mom lost her life partner, we all lost a familymember we love and care deeply for.
A father, a partner, a love, a grandfather, a friend is missing among us.
May angels be with you Johnny

World Cup Semifinals

No comment....

Or actually, all my respect to Japan who played a very good game. Good luck in the finals

Green fingers...not so much

I love having flowers and plants at home, but there's a reason as to why I've always made sure it wasn't me who took care of them, I don not have green fingers what so ever. Now however there is no one else and I don't have any other choice than to try my best. Unfortunately the no green fingers statement seems to stand strong...I bought this flower on friday, today it's monday and this is what it looks like...what? how? I just don't understand.

Spending the weekend at "Landet"

A weekend at ekerö, filled with family, sunshine and soccer...just nice. Loved being able to sit outside and at the same time watch a crazy game between the US and Brazil, and of course watch Sweden kick some OZ ass :)

We picked some smultron (wild strawberries or whatever they're called) for dessert...so yummy

Henry with some coke in his blood is cheering France on and showing off his excellent french by counting to three :)

Dinner with Friends

How lucky am I to get to wine and dine, take a stroll along the water down town stockholm, enjoy some ice-cream in the sun and all of it together with some of the best people I know...just on a regular thursday after work!

There are some great people in this world

Beautiful Ylva...it still feels so unreal :)

Stockholm is a city to enjoy, especially in the summer

A day at Grönan with my favo people

A tuesday off work and what better way to spend it than a day at the amusement park with my sis and two favourite boys.

On our way there...Henry was super excited just about the boat ride over

He started off with "tuff tuff tåget", such a brave little boy

and ran to give me a hug in excitement afterwards

a ride on the flying elephants had Henry and me talking about him becoming a pilot...

a little rest and some water...

...before the "lady bug ride", the biggest kid roller coaster there, a bit scary but he did it and said he loved it...he's getting big

Henry working hard to get up the stairs to "the fun house"

Sam seemed to be having a good time as well...although I believe all the new impressions and sounds were a bit of an overload for him

Look like a flower Linda says, and this is the face he puts on...the most beautiful flower I've ever seen :)

Cutest brothers

Such a great mom with the two greatest kids ever

Waiting for the boat

Bye bye Grönan, see you another day

A very tired but happy Henry after a day of fun!